Tuesday, May 2, 2017


Holy cow, where do I even start!?
The last two months have been a roller coaster. 

End of February, our lease ended on our rental home and we could not resign because the owners decided to sell. 
At that same time frame, David had multiple big and promising job interviews around the country so we didn't want to sign a new lease in case we'd be moving out of state. 
My parents were gracious enough to open their home to us till we figured out what the crap we were doing. 
We packed all up all of our stuff in storage except our beds and a few other things and moved in!

During this whole time, we were incredibly stressed. 
Not knowing where we would be or even having a time frame for anything was terrifying. 
That on top of being out of our routine/schedule, without our stuff and having to take care of three toddlers and a brand new baby at home all day really threw me into a downward spiral. 

During this time David was rejected by every stinking job. 
The ones he was offered didn't feel right or weren't a good fit for our family. 

OMG it was such a difficult time. 
We were praying SO HARD for guidance and direction. 
David had to keep reminding me that something would happen, it was just a matter of WHEN!
I felt like our situation was so hopeless and began to spiral even more. 
(I'll go into more detail later in another post but it turns out I was suffering majorly from postpartum depression and anxiety)

After a spiritually edifying Conference weekend we decided that we needed pause the job search and just stay in Arizona till David finished up his masters program. 

My parents purchased a home down the street and had to be out of their current rental home, so we now had a timeline to find our own place. 

 Just when I thought things would be looking up...

I was online for hours a day/every single day looking for available houses/apartments/track homes.
I scheduled walk throughs and dragged my babies through rental after rental. 
We filled out so many damn applications and lost HUNDREDS of dollars in fees. 
We were turned down for EVERY.SINGLE.ONE. 
I actually lost track. 
Every single property was gone, just as fast as it was posted. 
Our end date was drawing near and I completely lost faith. 
I was convinced we'd be homeless. 
Really, truly you guys. 
(looking back i'm aware that this was the depression/anxiety talking but at that time it was too real to me.) 

Then it happened. 
We were contacted by a rental company, who managed a couple homes that we'd applied for, but our application was turned down by the home owners a week before. 
They had just started working with a new home owner and wanted to know if we wanted them to reach out to him with our application (which they already had on hand) to see if he'd want us to rent from him. 
We said YES, PLEASE!
They sent us the listing and it looked super nice. 
The rental price was well below our budget and it was exactly the size and layout we were looking for. 
(I figured with all the rejection we had experienced we'd have to compromise for something a LOT smaller.)

They called back a few hours later and told us the home owner had approved our application and it was ours if we wanted it!
I was shocked.
We were able to go walk through before we signed the paperwork. 
Driving through our little neighborhood and up to the home I couldn't help but cry. 
It just felt so right. 
We signed a year lease and scheduled our move for later that week. 

Our actual move was pretty uneventful.
Ya know, normal chaos as far as any move goes. 

I was just so happy to be in a place and finally feel like things were getting back to normal. 
The day after we moved in, David was trying to instal our washer and dryer and a pipe burst which resulted in hot as hell water flooding the entire back of the home. 
That's a whole other story...lol
Omg, It took HOURS to get it under control. 

Frances and Wolfe got a little stomach bug that weekend which resulted in a huge pile of barf/poop laundry on top of every towel/blanket we had waiting to be washed and dried after being used to clean up the flood.

At that point I was like, ok Heavenly Father, can we PLEASE have just a few days of no disasters!?

We got few good days and then Wolfe woke up with a weird rash on his legs. 
I was concerned because it was like nothing I had seen before so I made an appointment just to have some peace of mind before the weekend hit. 
I dragged all the kids to the pediatrician and the Dr comes in and goes, hmmm, this is unusual...
After asking a few clarifying questions he says, "It's probably viral but it does look a lot like the rash you can get with Meningitis"
I'm like WHAT?!
Don't people DIE from that!?
I start freaking the hell out.
I'm like OK Dr, i'm being treated for postpartum anxiety you gotta give me more than that. 
He tells me some symptoms to look out for and tells me to go ASAP if anything else develops. 

I go home and google "symptoms for meningitis in babies" and start freaking the hell out again. 
I'm convinced he has it and call the Dr.'s office again.  
I suddenly remembered some weird stuff he'd been doing the night before but was too distracted by my crazy kids at the appointment to recall them. 
The Dr. very sweetly and calmly recounted that if he DID have it, he'd be acting a lot differently so to just watch him. 
I was on edge the entire weekend. 
Of course, no other symptoms appeared so think he's in the clear...

So there you have it. 
All our crazy crap we've been dealing with the last two months.

Are you still with me??


Now that my brain chemistry is getting back to normal, I can now look back and clearly see how the Lord in fact did not abandon us. 
We were guided and directed to this home because this is where we are supposed to be. 
Despite the dark cloud of rejection that seemed to follow us for a bit there, it DID all work out and it was all in His time and happened exactly when it was supposed to. 

I'm really excited to see what's in store for us this next year. 
So far we are in LOVE with the area. 
I'm enjoying setting up/decorating/organizing our little house.
I thrive on having little projects here and there planned. 
We are finally getting back into a good routine/schedule. 
We attended our new ward on Sunday and it already feels like home. 
Remington has been officially enrolled into a local charter school and starts Kinder in August! 
David is planning our summer garden project and Frances is turning TWO in a few days. 
Wolfe and Olive are happiest when they're eating and sleeping. 

And that's what we've been up to lately. 

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