How David found his birth mom

I've been meaning to sit down and write this out for a while now, but we have just been so busy this summer.

I also get super emotional anytime I talk about it, so there's that too.

To preface, this experience really is personal and intimate and there are SO many moving parts and people involved.

There are some moments that are meant to be shared and others that are not.

I also recognize how unique their story is.

Not all adoption stories end like this, as it almost feels like a hallmark movie.

We all keep saying it but it really truly has been a fairy tale ending.

With that being said, here is the story of how David found his birth momma.

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David was adopted 31 years ago at 4 days old by his loving adoptive parents.
He grew up always knowing he was adopted.
The only thing he really knew about his birth mother was that she was a young teenage girl at the time of his birth.
He also knew his birthdate (duh) and the hosptial that he was born at.
That was it.
He did however have a very special hand written letter from his birth mother as well as a stuffed teddy bear.

It is a VERY emotional and touching letter.

He shared it with me right after we were married and we'd pull it out often to read it.
I remember reading it over a few days before I gave birth to one of the kids and just sobbing.
I was just absolutely touched at this young woman's strength and her decision to give her sweet baby a better life.
I couldn't imagine the pain that she went through to come to that decision and we were always so grateful to her.

We often talked about maybe finding her someday but it was never really discussed in detail much further.
It was always a touchy subject around his adoptive family too and he never wanted to offend or ask questions.
But he did have lots of them.
The adoption was a closed one and done through the Dr. and a lawyer at the time.
A few years ago he had read that he could sign up and pay to be put on the Utah Adoption registry and be connected to his birth parents that way if either of them had done the same.
Life got busy and he just never got to do it.

I was always curious about his heritage, especially after we started having babies!
His looks are unique and I always wanted to know where his family originated from.
It has been fun to see what genetic traits our children have inherited but WHERE do they come from!?
I also wanted to know if there was any major health history we should be made aware of.
I used to joke with him that if anything was wrong with our kids, it was his fault since we didn't know his family history for sure haha.

Last fall, the DNA kits were being promoted like crazy so I made a Facebook thread asking which one would be the best one to get.
I got all kinds of feedback.
My purpose was truly just to figure out his ancestral origins and any health stuff.
We never in a million years would have thought that it would lead to any actual family.
Thats the kind of stuff that happens in the movies, not real life.

So earlier this year there was a big sale on the Ancestry.com kits and I ordered one to get here just in time for his birthday.
I was so excited to see his results!
We were all taking bets to see where he was from.

That dang kit sat on his nightstand for WEEKS!
David went off that he didn't want to do it because he didn't want the government to have his DNA and that he had read that insurance companies could refuse to cover certain things if any major health issue was detected in the tests (eyeball roll)

I was annoyed but it was his choice.

Finally one day he decided to do the test and he sent it in.
The process took about 6 weeks to complete before he'd get any results.
I told him not to check the app for the results until he got home from work so I could film his reactions!
(my original plan was to put a little video together)

May 14th came just like any other day and I got a phone call from David in the late afternoon.

"You better be on your way home" - I proclaimed, super annoyed and done with the kids at that point in the day.

"JESS" he yelled "I FOUND MY BIRTH MOM!!!!"

"SHUT UP, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?" I replied.

His voice was shaking as he explained that he had a notification of his Ancestry app and he opened and saw that his results were in.

He said he went to close it but that right there on the front page there was a  PARENT/CHILD match with shared DNA: 3,460 cenitmorgans. 

Her name popped up "HEIDI BEVERIDGE"

Having such a unique name, he quickly searched her on Facebook to see if she had an account and sure enough he saw her photo.

He sent me the screen shot and I GASPED.

"OMG DAVID, THAT IS YOUR MOM! OMG OMG OMG!"

There was no denying the resemblance.

He was sobbing of the phone.

Tears of joy!

The next 48 hours were full of excitement and ALL the emotions.

Should he reach out!?

How would he reach out?!

It was clear from her profile that she was married and had a family of her own.

Did they know about him?

Would it ruin her life if he reached out!?

We prayed about what to do and finally felt that he needed to write her a letter.

He wrote a note explaining who he was and why he was contacting her.

He sent it and waited, having no idea what would come of it.

He couldn't sleep of focus on anything the next two days.

I was starting to worry.

What if she rejected him?

What if she didn't want to be found!?

We overanalyzed EVERTHING.

Of course she wanted to be found or she herself wouldn't have done the DNA kit too.
She also included her full name, she could've stayed anonymous on her ancestry profile so we figured that had to be a sign right!?

While we waited for that reply we researched everything we could find about her online.
It was insane the amount of info you can dig up if you look hard enough.
We looked through photos of her and her kids and couldn't just believe how much they all looked alike.

After two days of not a single word, David was starting to lose his mind.
He couldn't focus on anything else.
He decided to reach out to an old friend who used to be a private investigator, who was able to find two current phone numbers that were connected to her name.
David had his friend reach out on behalf of him.

That evening at 2am, David grabbed my arm.

"Jess, she accepted my friend request!"

He began to cry.

We didn't sleep the rest of the night.

The next day she reached out to David and they FaceTimed during his lunch break.

He said it was incredible looking at her face to face and that most of the conversation was them just staring at each other and wiping tears away.

For the next seven weeks they talked every night for hours and texted back and forth all day.
There was a lot to catch up on over the last 31 years.
I sat in on a lot of the conversations and it was amazing how effortless and natural it felt to talk with her.

It wasn't weird or awkward at all.

Every night we'd come up with 20+ questions to get to know her more and vis versa.

It was insane to see how similar both her and David's mannerisms were.

Over the weeks she slowly started to share more and more about her side of the adoption process.
I couldn't believe her courage and strength as she shared her experience coming to that decision as a young 17 year old girl.

One night she pulled out a photo book she had kept of the days she was in the hospital with David.
She had spent four and a half days with him before the adoption was finalized.
We were sobbing looking through the photos.
Again, her strength...
I don't know how she did it.

Right away she had expressed her desire to come down and meet him and the family. 

We set a date for the end of June. 

I knew this was on of those "once in a life time moments" that had to be captured properly, so I reached out to one of my old college girl friends who was a videographer! 

That day arrived and we got to the airport. 

I was already full of emtions and David was trembling from nerves and excitement. 

I kept asking how he was feeling and he was like "there are literally no words to describe this right now." 

We picked out a bouquet of her favorite flowers (peonies) and David made a sign to hold up. 

We stood waiting right outside the terminal as passengers started coming through. 

The only thing we knew to look for was an orange suit case. 

Laura captured the moment so perfectly, I'm just going to letcha watch here instead of write it out because, ya know its hard to type with watery eyeballs haha. 

David Reunited with Birthmother from Laura Crandell on Vimeo.

So there it is.

That's how David found his birth momma (in as few words as possible haha) 

We spent the most incredible 5 days with her that weekend. 

Since then we've met a few of his half siblings and all sorts of other family. 

He has even been in touch with his biological father and we hope to meet him and his family soon as well. 

We never thought that this is something we'd experience this summer. 

It's been so incredibly emotional and so so surreal. 

Their coming together has brought nothing but complete joy for our family. 

We are so excited for the many new memories and experiences to come. 

**Shout out to CRANDELL VIDEO. 
Girl you couldn't not have captured this any better.
THANK YOU!