Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Pregnancy and Body Image

I wanted to jot down my experience and a few thoughts on this topic mainly because it is something I am currently working through. I thought maybe I could connect with ladies who may have(or will) perhaps experience the same thing.

Before I jumped on pregnancy band wagon I felt like I was pretty confident with my body. I remember looking at other pregnant women and telling myself things like,"I will never let myself get that huge" and "I will never let myself go" and "Stretch marks? I don't have to worry about those, my mom didn't get them"

Needless to say, the changes my body went through over those 10 months where a huge shock to me. I remember on many occasions waking up and looking at myself in the mirror. I would just stand there and cry.

I couldn't imagine my swollen belly getting any bigger. 
I couldn't imagine any more ugly purple stretch marks. 
I couldn't imagine taking another picture without trying to hid my double chins.
I couldn't imagine that the newly formed cottage cheese on my butt and thighs would ever go away. 
I couldn't imagine not going through the day without sweaty taco pits down to my hip bones. 
And then there was the day that I realized my alreadybiggerthanaveragesize11 feet had grown...

At that time, I wanted to slap any person who told me I had the "glow."

It seemed impossible for me to be positive and to love and accept my new body.   
David had a hard time understanding what I was growing through. How could he? He told me everyday how beautiful I was. I just ignored him. 

It was until Christmas break that I had a breakthrough. I had a serious sit down with my momma bear. I broke down and told her everything I was feeling. She gave me some amazing counsel. She said something along the lines of "what is this is your only opportunity to bear children? enjoy everything, it goes so fast. this is only temporary." Gosh mom's always know the right things to say.

My ways of thinking didn't change over night. However, I did proceed through the rest of my pregnancy with a more grateful attitude. Everyday I tried to replace a negative thought with a positive one. I thanked my father in heaven that I did have the opportunity to bring children into this world. As I did this He helped me realize how amazing my body was and that I would be blessed for what I was doing.

Now here I sit, saggy skin, stretch marks, cottage cheese thighs and all. I look over at my beautiful, healthy and happy baby boy and I've realize that it doesn't get much better than this!

Yes, I'm still 35 pounds away from my goal,
I'm still wearing my maternity pants,
and everything still jiggles.
But thats ok, because this new body of mine is only temporary.
I'll get back to feeling normal soon enough. (curse you women who can bounce right back!)

And guess what, despite all the that, I would do this baby thing again and again and again,

because nothing tops how I feel about this litte guy.


4 comments:

Alana said...

Man I have a way hard time with my body image. And as I watch my belly grow I freak out a little as the numbers on the scale continue I grow. But it is so totally worth it. It is possible to get your body back. Again and again.

SUSIE E. STOUT said...

Don't worry I had a complete melt down just yesterday after gym class. I was crying because pre pregnancy I was sooo fit! I was up to 50 push ups straight, now I can't even do 3 :) I started crying because I am realizing how long and how much hard work it is going to take to get back there, but I have been there before and I know that I can do the hardwork. And your momma is right, what a small trial compared to the blessing we receive. Know you aren't alone in this :) And even though everything jiggles now give it a year or so and you will be yearning for the very thing that caused all that :) He is so adorable I can't get over it!!!!

Joy Boggess said...

Wow, almost like I was reading my own journal! Please don't slap me, cause I still think you look great! And I don't lie..it's against my religion! It was so unbelievably hard after I had Olivia, the shock of it all. There are few pictures of Olivia and I when she was newborn because I didn't want to be remembered that way. I look back and regret it now. My mom calls strech marks "medals of honor". I do think that we women do need to give ourselves more credit because having kids is hard! Your momma is right, it is temporary! Just think, in heaven we will have our hott bods back for eternity PLUS all our sweet little munches! And I will say it gets easier! The first time is the hardest. You are great, Jess! Never ever forget it!

Amber Whiteley said...

I couldn't agree more. I'm 45 lbs away from my goal, and it just seems impossible. People always tell you that breastfeeding helps you lose the weight super fast, and those people are liars. The biggest thing I keep trying to do is just remind myself that this is normal, and the female body is amazing and beautiful thing to be able to grow a person inside of you... sometimes that helps. not always. but thank goodness normal people like us exist. screw all the skinny mini moms.

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