Friday, December 16, 2016

38 weeks


Thirty-eight weeks. 
It's feeling really REAL. 
The "pre-birth" jitters/anxiety has hit me hard the past few weeks. 
It's always the last fifteen minutes before I fall asleep, when everything in the house is quiet and I'm trying to shut off my brain. 
The potential scenarios of how everything "could" go down start running through my head and then begin spiraling out of control. 
It's awful. 
My heart races, my chest get tight and every muscle in my body tenses up. 
The images of a delivering a dead baby, or watching myself hemorrhage to death, followed by seeing my children continue to grow up without a mom etc. 
I don't know why my mind even goes there, but it does. 
Thankfully a quick prayer, some deep practice breathing and a chat with David helps clear my head and I can begin to relax and fall asleep. 

Overall it hasn't been as bad as it was with Frances.
but it is there. 

Anxiety is awful. 

At thirty-eight weeks baby boy could make his appearance at anytime!
I think he's dropped a little, and I've been able to feel some bigger movements now. 
Two weeks ago I transferred practices after touring the hospital we thought we'd be delivering at. 
I felt so uneasy after walking through and thankfully I was able to reach out to some other local like-minded mommas who gave some amazing recommendations for a midwife practice on the other side of town. 
I've had two appointments there so far and they have been SO GOOD! 
They deliver at a different hospital that has a birthing center attached so I will be able to get the whole natural birth experience that I want.

Last week I thought my water may have broke. 
I kept feeling like I was peeing myself so we headed over to the new hospital triage to get tested (just in case.)
Turns out it was negative for amniotic fluid.
I've never been more thankful for swamp ass! HA!

Everything is ready for baby boy. 
Our photographer is officially "on-call"
 My sister gets in from Hawaii this weekend (she'll be watching the babies when it all goes down)
My bags are mostly packed and most of the baby clothing has been washed. 
The car seat is out and ready to go too. 
I've been scheduling weekly chiro adjustments to get my body all aligned and ready for labor. 

At my next appointment I'll be getting my membranes swept.
This put me into labor within 24 hours with Olive!
Fran was born 4 days after I had it done. 
I know it wont do anything if he's not ready but he COULD potentially be here this next weekend!
I would love to be home just in time for Christmas and be able to snuggle a newborn. 
I can't wait to hold him and kiss his cheeks!
The kids are starting to ask "when will my baby be our of my belly?"
They are all so excited. 
We are all so ready.

Here's to the final stretch!

38 weeks with Frances, 38 weeks with Olive, 38 weeks with Remington 

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